Break Free From Codependency

Codependency is a destructive coping mechanism that people use to deal with a lack they may feel.  Perhaps they lack self esteem or have strong feelings of rejection.  Regardless, codependent people usually use others to fix what is broken in themselves.  They look to others to fill their own void.  I call this a people stronghold. 

God is the only One who can fix what is broken and is the only one that can meet all our needs.  We cause problems when we turn to others before we turn to Him.  Throughout God's word we see God using people in the lives of others, but He never allows people or things to take His place.  When we allow this to happen, we have created an emotional idol.

When trials come and the storms of life crash down around you, do you immediately cry out to others, or do you cry out to God first?  If you will begin going to God first, your dependence on Him will increase and your co-dependence on others will decrease. 

Use these steps to break free from co-dependence.

1. When your mind wanders to someone else more that it should, shift your thought to God and His word.

2. Intentionally seek out ways to have fun activities you enjoy, not activities you think others will enjoy or activities that depend on others.

3. Pay attention to how you talk about yourself.  Do you put yourself down?  Do you let other put you down?  Change this pattern by affirming the positive things God is doing in your life.  Use words that build up and don't tear down.

4. Let go of the need to control situations and the people around you.

5. Create a list of your positive attributes and thank God for them. Read through this list daily and add to it often.

6. Gradually reduce your texts and conversations with those on whom you may be codependent.

7. Write yourself notes of affirmation and leave them where you'll see them.  Send yourself positive emails.  Buy yourself flowers or tickets to an event to remind yourself of the value God places on you.

© 2013 Beverley J. Miller- SOAR EMPOWERMENT